Well, I noticed some of you may be having trouble with smilies, so here is the `Unofficial guide to smilies'.  The origin is unknown...

The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary

:-)	Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)	Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-(	Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something.
:-I	Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good as a happy smilie
:->	User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->	User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->	Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-:	User is left handed
%-)	User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*)	User is drunk
[:]	User is a robot
8-)	User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)  	Sunglasses on head
::-)  	User wears normal glasses
B-)	User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-)  	User is a little girl
:-)-8	 User is a Big girl
:-{)  	User has a mustache
:-{}  	User wears lipstick
{:-)  	User wears a toupee
}:-(  	Toupee in an updraft
:-[	User is a Vampire
:-E	Bucktoothed vampire
:-F	Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7	User just made a wry statement
:-*	User just ate something sour
:-)~  	User drools
:-~)  	User has a cold
:'-(  	User is crying
:'-)  	User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@	User is screaming
:-#	User wears braces
:^)	User has a broken nose
:v)	User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:_)	User's nose is sliding off of his face
:<)	User is from an Ivy League School
:-&	User is tongue tied.
=:-)  	User is a hosehead
-:-)  	User is a punk rocker
-:-(  	(real punk rockers don't smile)
:=)	User has two noses
+-:-) 	User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)  	User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)  	Same thing...other side
|-I	User is asleep
|-O	User is yawning/snoring
:-Q	User is a smoker
:-?	User smokes a pipe
O-)	Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) 	User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P	Nyahhhh!
:-S	User just made an incoherent statement
:-D	User is laughing (at you!)
:-X	User's lips are sealed
:-C	User is really bummed
<|-)  	User is Chinese
<|-(  	User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/	User is skeptical
C=:-) 	User is a chef
@=	 User is pro-nuclear war
*<:-) 	User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o	Uh oh!
(8-o  	It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)  	And Bozo the Clown!
3:]	Pet smilie
3:[	Mean Pet smilie
d8=	Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) 	User is a Ham radio operator
:-9	User is licking his/her lips
%-6	User is braindead
[:-)  	User is wearing a walkman
(:I	User is an egghead
<:-I  	User is a dunce
K:P	User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
@:-) 	User is wearing a turban
:-0	No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
:-:	Mutant Smilie
	The invisible smilie
.-)	User only has one eye
,-)	Ditto...but he's winking
X-(	User just died
8 :-) 	User is a wizard
C=}>;*{))  	Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin

Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.
:) 	 Midget smilie
:]  	Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend
=)  	Variation on a theme...
:} - 	What should we call these? (what?)
:) - 	Happy
:> - 	what?
:@ -	 what?
:D - 	Laughter
:I - 	Hmmm...
:( - 	Sad
:[ - 	Real Downer
:< - 	what?
:{ - 	what?
:O - 	Yelling
?
:C - 	what?
:Q - 	what?
:,( - 	Crying
[] - 	Hugs and
:* - 	Kisses
|I - 	Asleep
|^o -	Snoring

:-`	smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
:-1	smiley bland face
:-@	smiley face screaming
:-#|  	smiley face with bushy mustache
:-$	smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
:-%	smiley banker
:-6	smiley after eating something sour
:^)	smiley with pointy nose (righty)
:-7	smiley after a wry statement
8-)	smiley swimmer
:-*	smiley after eating something bitter
:-&	smiley which is tongue-tied
:-0	smiley orator
	smiley invisible man
(:-(  	unsmiley frowning
(:-)  	smiley big-face
):-(  	unsmiley big-face
)8-) 	 scuba smiley big-face
=:-)  	smiley punk-rocker
=:-( 	 (real punk rockers don't smile)
+:-) 	 smiley priest
:-q	smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
:-e	disappointed smiley
:-t	cross smiley
:-i	semi-smiley
:-o	smiley singing national anthem
:-p	smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
:-[	un-smiley blockhead
:-]	smiley blockhead
:-{	smiley variation on a theme
:-}	ditto
{:-)  	smiley with its hair parted in the middle
}:-)  	above in an updraft
:-a	lefty smilely touching tongue to nose
:-s	smiley after a BIZARRE comment
:-d	lefty smiley razzing you
g-)	smiley with pince-nez glasses
:-j	left smiling smiley
:-k	beats me, looks like something, tho.
:-l	y. a. s.
:-:	mutant smiley
:-\	undecided smiley
:-|	"have an ordinary day" smiley
;-)	winking smiley
:-<	real sad smiley
:->	y.a.s.
:-z	y.a.c.s.
:-x	"my lips are sealed" smiley
:-c	bummed out smiley
:-v	talking head smiley
:v)	left-pointing nose smiley
:-b	left-pointing tongue smiley
:-/	lefty undecided smiley
:-?	smiley smoking a pipe
.-]	one-eyed smiley
,-}	wry and winking
0-)	smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
:-=)  older smiley with mustache
:u)	smiley with funny-looking left nose
:n)	smiley with funny-looking right nose
:<	 midget unsmiley
:>	 midget smiley
}:^#})	mega-smiley:  updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin
:-)	  ha ha				
|-)	  hee hee				
|-D	  ho ho
:->	  hey hey				
:-(	  boo hoo				
:-I	  hmm					
:-O	  uh oh				
:-P	  nyah nyah				
|-P	  yuk

 ~~:-(	net.flame
O |-)	net.religion
8 :-I	net.unix-wizards
 X-(	net.suicide
E-:-I	net.ham-radio
 >:-I	net.startrek
3:o[	net.pets

:-}	beard
:-{	mustache
:-#	braces
:-X	bow tie
:-Q	smoker
<:I	dunce
(:I	egghead
@:I	turban

8-)	glasses
B-)	horn-rims
8:-)	glasses on forehead
:-8(	condescending stare
;-)	wink
>:-<	 mad

Drama	 :-(
Comedy 	:-)
Surprise 	:-o	  
Suspense 	8-|

Male	 :-
Female 	 >-
Birth	|-O
Death 	8-#
Infinity		  8